100+ Best Ever Jonathan Swift Quotes From The Author Of Gulliver's Travels

Jonathan Swift was an Anglo-Irish satirist, author, essayist, political pamphleteer, poet, and Anglican cleric who became Dean of St Patrick's Cathedral, Dublin, hence his common sobriquet, "Dean Swift".

Jonathan Swift Quotes

1. "A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying, that he is wiser today than yesterday." -Jonathan Swift.
2. "Live every day as your last, because one of these days, it will be."-Jonathan Swift.
3. "Fine words! I wonder where you stole them."-Jonathan Swift.
4. "May you live every day of your life."-Jonathan Swift.
5. "It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into."-Jonathan Swift.
6. "Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others."-Jonathan Swift.
7. "Proper words in proper places make the true definition of style."-Jonathan Swift.
8.  "Whoever makes the fewest persons uneasy, is the best-bred man in company."-Jonathan Swift.
9. "Power is no blessing in itself, except when it is used to protect the innocent."-Jonathan Swift.
10. "He was a bold man that first ate an oyster."-Jonathan Swift.
11. "When I am reading a book, whether wise or silly, it seems to me to be alive and talking to me."-Jonathan Swift.
12. "The worthiest people are the most injured by slander, as is the best fruit which the birds have been pecking at."-Jonathan Swift.
13. "There is no absolute success in the world, only constant progress."-Jonathan Swift.
14. "There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency."-Jonathan Swift.
15. "Vision is the art of seeing things invisible."-Jonathan Swift.
16. "You should never be ashamed to admit you have been wrong. It only proves you are wiser today than yesterday."-Jonathan Swift.
17. "Satire is a sort of glass wherein beholders do generally discover everybody’s face but their own; which is the chief reason for that kind reception it meets with in the world, and that so very few are offended with it."-Jonathan Swift
18. "There are few, very few, that will own themselves in a mistake."-Jonathan Swift.
19. "Every dog must have his day."-Jonathan Swift.
20. "If a man makes me keep my distance, the comfort is, he keeps his at the same time."-Jonathan Swift.
21. "Happiness is the perpetual possession of being well deceived."-Jonathan Swift.
22. "No wise man ever wished to be younger."-Jonathan Swift.
23. "Falsehood flies, and truth comes limping after it, so that when men come to be undeceived, it is too late..."-Jonathan Swift.
24.  "When a great genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign; that the dunces are all in confederacy against him."-Jonathan Swift
25. "We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another."-Jonathan Swift.
26. "I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed."-Jonathan Swift.
27. "The latter part of a wise person's life is occupied with curing the follies, prejudices and false opinions they contracted earlier."-Jonathan Swift.
28. "We of this age have discovered a shorter, and more prudent method to become scholars and wits, without the fatigue of reading or of thinking."-Jonathan Swift.
29. "I have ever hated all nations, professions, and communities, and all my love is toward individuals."-Jonathan Swift.
30. "Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own."-Jonathan Swift.
31. "A soldier is a 'Yahoo' hired to kill in cold blood as many of his own species, who have never offended him, as possibly he can."-Jonathan Swift.
32. "I'm as old as my tongue and a little older than my teeth."-Jonathan Swift.
33. "In men desire begets love, and in women love begets desire."-Jonathan Swift.
34. "We have chosen to fill our hives with honey and wax; thus furnishing mankind with the two noblest of things, which are sweetness and light."-Jonathan Swift.
35. "That the universe was formed by a fortuitous concourse of atoms."-Jonathan Swift.
36. "Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through."-Jonathan Swift.
37. "The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet, when we want shoes."-Jonathan Swift.
38. "As love without esteem is capricious and volatile; esteem without love is languid and cold."-Jonathan Swift.
39. "I will no more believe than that the accidental jumbling of the alphabet would fall into a most ingenious treatise of philosophy."-Jonathan Swift.
40. "In answer to which, I assured his honor that in all points out of their lawyers' own trade, they were usually the most ignorant and stupid generation among us, the most despicable in common conversation."-Jonathan Swift.
41. "One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good."-Jonathan Swift.
42. "Words are the clothing of our thoughts."-Jonathan Swift.
43. "Let that be as it will, thus much is certain, that, however spiritual intrigues begin, they generally conclude like all others; they may branch upward toward heaven, but the root is in the earth."-Jonathan Swift.
44. "Punning is a talent which no man affects to despise but he that is without it."-Jonathan Swift.
45. "Some men, under the notion of weeding out prejudice, eradicate virtue, honesty and religion."-Jonathan Swift.
46. "So that, upon the whole, there must be some kind of subjection due from every man to every man, which cannot be made void by any power, pre-eminence, or authority whatsoever."-Jonathan Swift
47. "Books, the children of the brain."-Jonathan Swift
48.  “Whereof one was a page that held up his train.”― Jonathan Swift
49. "A person with good eyes may see to the bottom of the deepest, provided any water be there; and often, when there is nothing in the world at the bottom, besides dryness and dirt, though it be but a yard and half under ground, it shall pass however for wondrous deep, upon no wiser a reason than because it is wondrous dark."-Jonathan Swift.
50. "I have one word to say upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late."-Jonathan Swift.
51. "These reasonings will furnish us with an adequate definition of a true critic: that he is a discoverer and collector of writers’ faults."-Jonathan Swift.
52. "I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old, a most delicious nourishing and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasie, or a ragoust."-Jonathan Swift.
53. "The use of speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive information of facts."-Jonathan Swift.
54. "The cottagers and laborers keep their children at home, their business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their education is of little consequence to the public."-Jonathan Swift.
55. "Undoubtedly, philosophers are in the right when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison."-Jonathan Swift
56. "Many hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by law of holding employments."-Jonathan Swift
57. "When people are met together, a short silence does much improve conversation."-Jonathan Swift.
58. "Men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool."-Jonathan Swift
59. "I could not sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals."-Jonathan Swift
60. "When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office."-Jonathan Swift
61. "And he gave it for his opinion, 'that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.'"-Jonathan Swift
62. "Ingratitude is amongst them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some other countries."-Jonathan Swift
63. "This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavor to do himself honor among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him."-Jonathan Swift
64. "They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail to punish it with death."-Jonathan Swift
65. "The tiny Lilliputians surmise that Gulliver’s watch may be his god, because it is that which, he admits, he seldom does anything without consulting."-Jonathan Swift
66. "Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine."-Jonathan Swift
67. "Whoever makes ill-returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of the mankind, from where he has received no obligations and therefore such man is not fit to live."-Jonathan Swift
68. "A wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion because she cannot always be young."-Jonathan Swift
69. "The empress, and young princes of the blood of both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at some distance in their chairs."-Jonathan Swift.
70. "I attempted to rise, but was not able to stir: for, as I happened to lie on my back, I found my arms and legs were strongly fastened on each side to the ground; and my hair, which was long."-Jonathan Swift
71. "He called it his oracle, and said, it pointed out the time for every action of his life."-Jonathan Swift.
72. "Honesty has no defence against superior cunning."-Jonathan Swift
73. "Care and vigilance, with a very common understanding, may preserve a man's goods from thieves."-Jonathan Swift
74. "They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail to punish it with death."-Jonathan Swift
75. "I cannot but conclude that the Bulk of your Natives, to be the most pernicious Race of little odious Vermin that Nature ever suffered to crawl upon the Surface of the Earth."-Jonathan Swift.
76. "Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison."-Jonathan Swift
77. "Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right, when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison."-Jonathan Swift
78. "Every man desires to live long; but no man would be old."-Jonathan Swift.
79. "I winked at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults."-Jonathan Swift
80. "Regard to good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to mankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding is fitted to some station or other."-Jonathan Swift.
81. "No person can disobey reason, without giving up his claim to be a rational creature."-Jonathan Swift.
82. "You have clearly proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator."-Jonathan Swift.
83.  "Laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding them."-Jonathan Swift.
84. "The different nations of the world had different customs."-Jonathan Swift.
85. "He had therefore begun to think it not unwise in us to cover our bodies, and by that invention conceal many of our deformities from each other, which would else be hardly supportable."-Jonathan Swift.
86. I winked at my own littleness, as people do at their own faults.
87. The use of speech was to make us understand one another, and to receive information of facts.
88. You have clearly proved that ignorance, idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a legislator.
89. Laws are best explained, interpreted, and applied by those whose interest and abilities lie in perverting, confounding, and eluding them.
90. No person can disobey reason, without giving up his claim to be a rational creature.
91. Regard to good morals than to great abilities; for, since government is necessary to mankind, they believe, that the common size of human understanding is fitted to some station or other; and that Providence never intended to make the management of public affairs a mystery to be comprehended only by a few persons of sublime.
92. The different nations of the world had different customs.
93. When a great office is vacant, either by death or disgrace (which often happens,) five or six of those candidates petition the emperor to entertain his majesty and the court with a dance on the rope; and whoever jumps the highest, without falling, succeeds in the office.
94. Many hundred large volumes have been published upon this controversy: but the books of the Big-endians have been long forbidden, and the whole party rendered incapable by law of holding employments.
95. The cottagers and labourers keep their children at home, their business being only to till and cultivate the earth, and therefore their education is of little consequence to the public.
96. I could not sufficiently wonder at the intrepidity of these diminutive mortals.
97. Every man desires to live long, but no man wishes to be old.
98. Undoubtedly, philosophers are in the right when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than by comparison.
99. The tiny Lilliputians surmise that Gulliver’s watch may be his god, because it is that which, he admits, he seldom does anything without consulting.
100. And he gave it for his opinion, “that whoever could make two ears of corn, or two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more essential service to his country, than the whole race of politicians put together.
101. Difference in opinions has cost many millions of lives: for instance, whether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh; whether the juice of a certain berry be blood or wine.
102. This made me reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavor to do himself honor among those who are out of all degree of equality or comparison with him.
103. They look upon fraud as a greater crime than theft, and therefore seldom fail to punish it with death.
104. I enjoyed perfect health of body, and tranquility of mind; I did not feel the treachery or inconstancy of a friend, nor the injuries of a secret or open enemy.
105. Of so little weight are the greatest services to princes, when put into the balance with a refusal to gratify their passions.
106. My hours of leisure I spent in reading the best authors, ancient and modern, being always provided with a good number of books; and when I was ashore, in observing the manners and dispositions of the people, as well as learning their language; wherein I had a great facility, by the strength of my memory.
107. They have a notion, that when people are met together, a short silence does much improve conversation: this I found to be true; for during those little intermissions of talk, new ideas would arise in their minds, which very much enlivened the discourse.
108. A wife should be always a reasonable and agreeable companion, because she cannot always be young.
109. Ingratitude is amongst them a capital crime, as we read it to have been in some other countries: for they reason thus; that whoever makes ill-returns to his benefactor, must needs be a common enemy to the rest of the mankind, from where he has received no obligations and therefore such man is not fit to live.
110. Men are never so serious, thoughtful, and intent, as when they are at stool.
111. “But as to myself, having been wearied out for many years with offering vain, idle, visionary thoughts, and at length utterly despairing of success, I fortunately fell upon this proposal, which, as it is wholly new, so it hath something solid and real.”
112. “These mothers, instead of being able to work for their honest livelihood, are forced to employ all their time in strolling to beg for sustenance for their helpless infants, who, as they grow up, either turn thieves for want of work, or leave their dear native country to fight for the Pretender in Spain, or sell themselves to the Barbados.”
113. “I grant this food will be somewhat dear, and therefore very proper for the landlords, who, as they have already devoured most of the parents, seem to have the best title for the children.”
114. “After all, I am not so violently bent upon my own opinion as to reject any offer, proposed by wise men, which shall be found equally innocent, cheap, easy, and effectual.”
115. “It is a melancholy object to those who walk through this great town, or travel in the country, when they see the streets, the roads, and cabin doors crowded with beggars.”
116. “Some persons of a desponding spirit are in great concern about that vast number of poor people who are aged, diseased, or maimed, and I have been desired to employ my thoughts what course may be taken to ease the nation of so grievous an encumbrance.”
117. “But before something of that kind shall be advanced in contradiction of that scheme, and offering a better, I desire the author or authors will be pleased maturely to consider two points.”
118. “And secondly, there being a round million of creatures in human figure throughout this kingdom whose whole subsistence, put into a common stock, would leave them in debt two million pounds of sterling, adding those who are beggars by profession to the bulk of farmers, cottagers and labourers with their wives and children, who are beggars in effect.”
119. “They can very seldom pick up a livelihood by stealing […], although I confess they learn the rudiments much earlier, during which time they can however be properly looked upon only as probationers […] as I have been informed by a principal gentleman in the country of Cavan”
120. “There is likewise another great advantage in my scheme, that it will prevent those abortions, and that horrid practice of women murdering their bastard children, alas, too frequent among us, sacrificing the poor innocent babes, I doubt, more to avoid the expense than the shame.”
121. “Therefore, let no man talk to me of other expedients: […] of being a little cautious not to sell our country and consciences for nothing.”
122. “I think it is agreed by all parties that this prodigious number of children in the arms, or on the backs, or at the heels of their mothers, and frequently of their fathers, is, in the present deplorable state of the kingdom, a very great additional grievance.”
123. “But my intention is very far from being confined to provide only for the children of professed beggars; it is of a much greater extent, and shall take in the whole number of infants at a certain age who are born of parents in effect as little able to support them as those who demand our charity in the streets.”
124. “I profess in the sincerity of my heart that I have not the least personal interest in endeavoring to promote this necessary work, having no other motive than the public good of my country.”
125. “I desire those politicians who dislike my overture, and perhaps be so bold to attempt an answer, that they will first ask the parents of these mortals.”
126. “For we [...] neither build houses (I mean in the country) nor cultivate land.”
127. “The number of souls in this kingdom being usually reckoned one million and half, of these I calculate there may be about two hundred thousand couple whose wives are breeders.”
128. “And besides, it is not improbable that some scrupulous people might be apt to censure such a practice (although indeed very unjustly) as a little bordering upon cruelty, which, I confess, hath always been with me the strongest objection against any project, however well intended.”
129. “But I am not in the least pain upon that matter because it is very well known that they are every day dying and rotting by cold and famine, and filth and vermin, as fast as can be reasonably expected.”
130. “Tis true, a child just dropped from its dam may be supported by her milk for a solar year with little other nourishment, at most not above the value of two shillings.”